More Than Everything

It's more than deep, bright eyes
Or a handsome face to gaze upon
Or strong and gentle arms to rest in
Or a voice warm and low

Its more than your senses can say
More than you cologne
Or your lips pressed to mine
Or your breath in my ear

Its the breath you take away
     when you walk by
When you smile into my eyes
The stories you tell me of your past
The laughter you cause
     that makes my sides ache

It's the rush flying through me
When you hold out your hand
When you lift my chin
When you tell me just what is on your mind

It's knowing I can trust you
And I'll be safe with you near
And knowing we can keep moving forward
Together, tucking past things away

It is everything only the deepest parts of me can explain
but those secret words are locked away
and perhaps none but you
may unlock them some day

<3

Out of Order

A weak smile from a strong girl
Battling the world around her
And the lies
Whispered seductively in her ears
A perfect image
In a shattered mirror
Her only window of the world looking in
Dead rose petals
Bring life to her dying room
A hand to hold her
Above the waves of doubt
And to teach a million years of trust
An impossible task
In a world of cosmetic clones
In a city of Mr. Wrong

Bones

As you drag these skeletons out
Each one for me to see
I cannot deny their existence

I watch as you drag them out
Of a hiding place so dark and deep
Covered in thick cobwebs within

But as each is dragged out
The cobwebs fall and the dust slips away
Every bone is of the purest white

As you drag them out
You explain the rotting skin that remains
And all the fractures and breaks

But as you explain it all away
All i can say is what I see
A perfect skeleton of white bones

I wrote this some time ago...

With You

Words simply
cannot express
the flutter
inside my chest
I feel when I think
of you and your arms
around me tight your voice
floating in the night you
smiling at me your eyes
so full of love I've never
known I'm safe with
you holding me
kissing me
loving me
and I plan to
stay forever

(June 2011)

The Unknown Made Known

I had been dreading the day that Summer came to an end and school officially started. Gone would be the classes of 20-30 familiar faces, gone the well known hallways and teachers. Free textbooks, gone. Bells, gone. Everything I had come to expect from my past 4 years of highschool would be only a distant memory. And yes, it is strange walking to your first class and just showing up because there's no bell saying "go now." Stranger still when you walk into an auditorium to a class of 300 students.

But, it's not all that bad. There's the hours you can spend just hanging around campus, and while there's not always much to do right away, opportiunies come up. I might start working out at the gym, I'm going to audition for the play and I mustn't forget that I have to practice the impossible music for concert band. The profs are all pretty interesting and the best part is, they are very into what they are teaching us, so they're enthusiastic when they're teaching. And don't forget that in time, you'll meet a whole lot of new people.

If you're dreading the workload, don't. Well, if you're a procrastinator like I tend to be, you might want to be a little concerned. It isn't so bad, it's probably going to be harder to physically carry the load, than to do it. One of my text books is about 2000+ pages thick and when it's in my bag with the other books, my binder and whatever else I might have, I feel like I'm giving my little cousin a piggy back. So between the amount of books and the distance you could have between classes, you're probably not going to have to worry about the dreaded "freshmen fifteen."

So, if you're reading this in highschool, look forward to it. Don't be afraid of how unknown it is all going to be, that's the best part. Admittedly, I live at home, off campus, so for those of you going away, don't ask me what to expect, you get to discover that on your own. Life can be a scary adventure, and I found from my very first day, university is a great chance to embrace it. Carpe Diem.

Think Out Loud

Can passion be wrung
from ink on paper
To save worlds
and hearts alike?
Or will ideas be
birthed on paper
merely to be discarded?

Draw out the life
your mind creates
When its cogs churn
out a thought
Take pride in this,
what you create
And never dare
to stop

Rain, Rain...

There is a puzzling beauty
Standing in gently falling rain
Each drop a cold, soft kiss
On shoulders, cheeks and lips
The tranquil rhythm as each drop
Hits the thirsty earth
Bids you come and think
And wonder at the beauty of life
Rain washes away yesterday's dust
Masks tears of mourners
Refusing to stand beneath black umbrellas
Each drop a momentary dance partner
Flowers and leaves adorned in new jewels
Simple, refreshing, cool and beautiful
These spring rains we wish away

It Flows Through My Blood

It is music
The sweet high notes
The warm low notes
That embrace me
Treble and Bass
Dance in my ears
Sink deep into my skin
Flow through my blood
Melody and harmony
Move my body
Tap my feet
Clap my hands
And oh the songs
Caught in my head
Remind me of you
Feed my memories
It is music

Password Please

So, between lack of inspiration (also known as severe writer's block) and being locked out of my blog because for some reason none of the passwords I use worked and I lost my notebook in which I wrote down the password. SO although my lack of inspiration is still hanging around, I'm gonna pick up my pen for more than just school work and share what I come up with.

Out of Practice

School starts again tomorrow, which is good because I get to go back to writer's craft class!  I love that class so much! I've noticed that you can get somewhat out of practice when you write, just like you can get out of shape if you skip the gym for too long. I haven't touched pen to paper all week, and I haven't come up with any earth shattering ideas to write about, and now I feel like I'm really out of shape as a writer.

There's this thing we do at the start of each class and it's simply called a  quick write. What you basically do, is you write and write about a given topic for about 10 minutes. You don't edit yourself, you don't hardly think, you just write! It's just like warming up at the gym and the class is the actual work out. Definitly do it if you haven't tried. Sometimes you go back over it and you think to yourself, "what was I thinking when I wrote that!?" But that's alright because other times you read it over and you realize you can develop what you wrote into something even bigger!

Well, anyway, this is my quick write about writing today, just to bust away piece of the writer's block boulder which is sitting directly in front of me.

Quick Write - Dialogue Without Words

A girl sits alone, reading in her own corner of the school auditorium. Across the room, a door swings open, a boy walks in and the door slams shut, making the girl look up momentarily to investigate. She returns to her novel and he walks towards her. A few seats away, he sits down and takes out a note book and a pen but doesn't write. His tapping the pen on the page rewards him with a glare from the girl. He takes out a text book and flips to a random page. She notices and rolls her eyes. After standing up and making a point of stretching, he sits a seat closer and continues to pretend he is doing work. Finally, she stands up. He does too.

In a Cup

Stir a teaspoon of
Sweetness into a cup of
Bitter hot water
Clink the spoon off
Fine china or cheap glass
Sip like mommy from your
Tiny teacup just like
A grown up lady with
Womanhood in her cup

Assignment - "Where I'm From"

Where I’m From

I am from bubble baths and wrinkled fingers,

Grandma’s red high heels and lipstick tubes

I am from digging monster potatoes

And stale hay in the barn

I am from Bugs Bunny and Tweety,

Early Saturday mornings and late sleep overs

I am from tangled hair

And spinning dresses

I am from stage fright and the spotlight,

Swimming in May and Christmas PJs

I am from “don’t go near the tracks,”

And “because I’m the oldest”

I am from rubber boots and mud puddles

Fresh berries and Grandma’s cookies

I am from glitter glue

And plastic beads

I am from stinky spring air and four wheelers,

“He loves me, he loves me not” and tire swings

I am from Mom’s old pictures

And the mirror in my parent’s room

I am from rose petals and salty tears,

Shrieking laughs and a heart skipping beats

I am from skipping stones

And wet towels in the sun

I am from Mommy’s love and Daddy’s hugs,

Papa’s stories and Grandpa’s laugh

I am from Grandma’s inspirations

And Grandma’s busyness

I am from where I am but won’t always be

In the end I’ll always be me

Mask

Become someone
Anyone
Anything
But who you are,
What you are

From behind a smiling facade
tears drip
falling from beneath
unnoticed

Even the strongest wall
has weak points
Mask and man have
identical windows
Look through the pane
and see reality

Defining a Word

Confidence 

A drug of the mind. Too much has you flying high until the artillery of disappointment shoots you down to a fiery crash.

Too little and you are left unsure of yourself. You end up surprised when accomplishment offers a hand up only for you to step down and hide your light again.

Just enough lets you be sure of yourself. It let's you fly just high enough that a crash will hurt, but not destroy, and where accomplishment need only say, "step forward and shine!"

Something New

Here it is... a new opportunity to share. A window wide open and as I stand here, ready to spread my wings and fly, I find my self scared, lost for words. That's okay though, they will come, and soon, I'll spread my wings and soar!